evening_bat: Bat in flight, silhouetted against the moon. (Default)
[personal profile] evening_bat
Okay, so. Usually, I am all about Sora and Riku and their adorableness. This is not just about Sora and Riku. Call it a rare exception. It is also pure crack. For the record? This threesome would never happen and I am perfectly aware of that. I just don't care. It's a hilariously amusing possibility nonetheless.

See, a while back, I got to talking with one of the other players in IAB. She's an Axel fan and the two of us spent a few nights giggling over how Riku and Axel in the same room would be a disastrous and highly entertaining combination. She eventually started RPing him and was a bit sad about the fact that Axel was going to lose his boyfriend in a way that couldn't really be retconned. So I told her she should find him a new one. She started laughing about how furious Riku would be if Axel started prowling after Sora. I admitted that Riku would be pissed but added that that'd hardly stop Axel. Riku's hot after all - Axel would just start hitting on both of them. I think I was doomed from the moment she agreed.

Right about the time we started having hysterics over the fact that Axel calls Sora "Cutie" and Riku "Beautiful," I figured that resisting the urge to actually DO something to celebrate the crack was futile. So I shamelessly begged her to join in and promised her fic if she did. She lived up to her end with this fantastic drawing and this is how my version of the proposition went:



"You know," Riku said conversationally from the doorway, "this isn't what I had in mind when we decided to give you a second chance."

The two people seated on the couch across the room turned to face him.

"Riku!" Sora brightened, happy as ever to see him. Riku noticed that there was perhaps a shade more relief than usual in his bright blue eyes.

"Yo," greeted Axel, touching two fingers to his forehead in a casual salute. His other arm was stretched out along the back of the couch, hand toying with Sora's hair. Axel was sitting entirely too close, Riku noted, eyes narrowing. The redhead caught the look and smirked but gave in gracefully enough, raising his hands in gesture of surrender and sliding himself backwards into the opposite corner of the couch. Riku crossed his arms and leaned one shoulder against the doorjamb, watching as Axel arranged his long limbs comfortably.

"Been bored?" he inquired when it looked like Axel was settled again, a reassuring amount of space between him and Sora.

"You have no idea," Axel huffed in what looked like genuine frustration. Riku caught a look of concern on Sora's face and couldn't help a sharp pang of sympathy of his own. He, better than anyone, knew just how small a world could be. Still...

"Find a new hobby," Riku advised. Flirting with Sora is NOT an acceptable means of distracting yourself, he warned silently, even if you are missing Roxas. For a split second, the frustration in Axel's eyes went sharp and pained but he quickly assumed a petulant expression.

"Nobody ever teach you to share?" he complained, slumping back into the cushions. He eyed Riku where he leaned in the doorway and a sly, speculative smile curved his lips. "Maybe Nobody could teach you to share," he purred.

Shock stilled Riku where he stood and he didn't think his habitual control had kept all of his reaction from his face. He flicked his eyes over to Sora and found the other teen looking back and forth between himself and Axel, a small frown on his face as he tried to follow the undertones of their conversation. Keep wondering, Sora, Riku thought gratefully, returning his attention to Axel who responded to Riku's forbidding look with a wide leer.

"Hey," Sora finally spoke up, drawing their attention to him. "Nobody has to be left out," he stated, clearly hating the thought. "Our hearts are big enough to share, right? Plenty of room here for all of us," he offered brightly.

Riku barely resisted the urge to cover his eyes and groan aloud. Of all the things you could have said...

Axel's smirk was back in full force. "See?" he said, fixing predatory eyes on Riku. "No need for anyone to be left alone. Lots of room for everyone and plenty of us to go around."

"Wait now, I..." Sora's words trailed into a shocked gulp as what Axel was suggesting finally sunk in.

As Axel snickered, Riku turned a fondly exasperated look on Sora and got his second shock of the day. Far from being taken aback, Sora seemed to be considering it - seriously considering it! - darting sidelong looks at Axel and Riku both as he turned the idea over in his mind.

"I don't mind," he finally decided, lifting his head to smile warmly at Riku. "It would make you both happy." And that makes me happy, Riku heard, as clearly as if Sora had said it aloud. From the stunned look on his face, Axel was as surprised as Riku by that announcement though he recovered much faster, smug smile quickly spreading across his face.

"So...?" he drawled, spreading an arm wide in clear invitation.

Riku finally straightened, shaking his head in disbelief. "I don't believe you - either of you," he announced, crossing the room to stare down at them. "You can't be - I'm not - you're not serious!" Axel ignored his garbled protest, pinning him with a hungry stare while Sora just looked hopefully up at him.

Riku ran a hand through his hair. "I..." He shook his head again and drifted a step to the side, cupping Sora's cheek in one hand. Sora leaned into his touch, eyes half-closed, and sighed happily when Riku leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. When he released him, Sora just smiled up at him, soft and full of affection. Riku smiled back, knowing that Sora read the same thing in him.

Glancing to the side, he found Axel watching them, sardonic smile on his lips and a desolate look in his eyes. Riku shook his head again and deliberately took the two steps needed to stand directly in front of the redhead. Axel met his stare, eyes full of challenge, no doubt waiting to be brushed off. Riku considered Axel for a long moment, taking in the defiantly relaxed pose, the complete lack of concession.

Not one to make things easy, are you? Fair enough, Riku supposed, as neither was he. Moving swiftly, he slid himself into Axel's lap, enjoying the look of unadulterated shock in the other man's eyes. Before Axel had a chance to recover, Riku twisted his hands in the man's shirt and dragged Axel's mouth to his own, into a kiss that was anything but chaste.

When he finally pulled away, both of them were breathing hard and Axel's hands were tangled in his hair. He considered their position for a moment and the expression on Axel's face, which promised a fight if Riku even thought about trying to get loose. A glance to the side showed Sora, now sitting close enough that Riku could feel the heat of him along his side, watching them intently with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I want to go on record as saying this was NOT MY IDEA," Riku finally said, voice low and husky.

Axel smiled sharply, eyes bright and hot and very green. "Fine by me, Beautiful."

"Hm," Sora's voice hummed in his ear before he could protest the new nickname. "S'a good idea." Words scattered as he felt his friend move, warm arms sliding around him. Riku shivered under the light touch, eyes falling closed. Much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to think it really was a very good idea.



And that really should have been the end of it. Crack had been produced and giggled over on both sides and a great time was had by all. Only my fellow crack peddler did a random Google search and found this boutique in Colorado. Well. My brain heard "Axel's" "boutique" and "high-end leather goods" and went to a bad, bad place. This one is so crack headed as to be embarrassing but I just could not resist. I couldn't.



"Holy SHIT, Axel!" Riku's exclamation was very nearly a yelp. "You OWN all this?"

"Wow!" Sora's eyes were wide as he looked around the high-end leather boutique they'd walked into. "This is amazing!" He darted from the doorway, headed for a display of gloves. The gloves weren't enough to hold his attention for long however and Axel watched in amusement as Sora flitted from display to display, never lingering for long. Axel chuckled and sauntered into the store, towing a still-shocked Riku behind him.

"Yup," he responded over his shoulder. "All mine! Family business," he explained. Riku quirked an eyebrow at him, then shook his head, apparently unwilling to question any further.

"Only you," he sighed, half a smile hovering at his lips.

Axel just smirked. "Where do you think the Organization got our coats from?" he asked archly. He counted it a rare victory when the question surprised a laugh out of Riku.

"Axel!" He turned as Sora came hurrying back to them, a bundle of leather pouches clutched in his hands. "These are fantastic! How much are they? Can I have them?" Axel saw Riku eye the pouches and wince, obviously more aware then Sora of the likely cost of such high quality items. Axel waved off the saleswoman who'd been trailing after Sora - she didn't look terribly pleased to see him but at least she backed off obediently enough - and gestured Riku to silence.

"Course you can have 'em," he assured Sora, warmed by his beaming smile. "And for you, they cost a kiss." He leaned down towards the shorter teen. "But make it a good one, hm?" he leered. He ignored Riku's exasperated sigh in favour of enjoying the feeling of eager arms pulling him down into an enthusiastic kiss.

"Thanks, Axel!" Sora bounced in place, hugged Riku for good measure and then dashed off. "Going to find a mirror!" he called over his shoulder, already untangling the pouches.

Axel had managed to hang on to Riku's hand during Sora's expression of gratitude and he used it now to tug Riku deeper into the store. Riku seemed content to follow him, taking in the store as he went. Axel brought them to a halt in front of a wide counter, finally dropping Riku's hand to sift through the merchandise on display. Nothing really caught his eye at first and he was about to give up when he spotted exactly what he'd been looking for. He snatched it up gleefully and turned to display his find to Riku: a soft, black, lightly tooled wrist cuff.

"Nice," Riku commented approvingly.

"I was hoping you'd say so," Axel responded, voice low and intent. That caught Riku off guard and he immediately went wary, taking a half step away.

Too late! Axel crowed to himself, hand flashing out to latch onto Riku's wrist. You're not going anywhere...

Riku looked like he was thinking about fighting but then gave up with a faint sigh, muscles relaxing under Axel's hand. There was a kind of resigned amusement in his eyes as he looked at Axel's smug expression. Go ahead and do your worst, it seemed to invite and Axel intended to.

It was the work of a moment to slip the cuff onto Riku's bare wrist, though Axel had to let him go to fasten the buckles. He let Riku raise his arm to examine the cuff before he recaptured his hand.

"Look at that," Axel said admiringly, turning Riku's arm this way and that for a better look. The dark leather was a beautiful contrast to Riku's pale skin. "It's really too bad you're into that sort of thing," he commented, waving a hand to indicate Riku's outfit. "You'd look incredible in more of this." He heard Riku's breath catch slightly at the open appreciation in his voice.

"It's nice enough," Riku admitted, clearly struggling to keep his voice even, "but not really my style."

"That's a real pity," Axel sighed, leaning in close. "I've seen you in black leather," he purred into Riku's ear and felt Riku shiver. "You were made for it."

Riku's eyes heated at his words, fixed on Axel's thumb as it stroked the soft leather before sweeping across equally soft skin.

"You know, I never thought I'd want to see you in black again but he's got a point." Axel turned his head to see Sora standing a few feet away, giving Riku an intrigued, considering look, pouches forgotten in his hands. Riku was glancing between them, pasting his usual aloof look over the faint blush staining his cheekbones. Axel exchanged a grin with Sora before they both turned speculative eyes on their reluctant boyfriend. Surely with Sora helping, they'd be able to talk Riku out of his current wardrobe and into something...far more fitting.

Form fitting, even, Axel thought, heat blooming in his stomach at the mental image.

"We're in the wrong section of the store entirely," Axel decided aloud, abruptly turning on his heel and dragging a protesting Riku behind him. He could hear Sora tagging closely along, chiding Riku for being so unwilling to cooperate. As ever, Riku's resistance was quickly crumbling under Sora's bright insistence. Unseen by the younger pair, Axel let a wide smirk cross his face. Riku had already lost, he just wasn't willing to admit it yet and Axel couldn't wait to see if reality matched the image he had in mind. He thought it might be even better.



And that really should have been the end of it. Except that by this time, I'd spent far too long pondering my realization that these three actually DO work together, in an odd way. Surprised the hell out of me, let me tell you. Anyhow, once I started thinking about that, I just couldn't stay away from the sap. And neither could Sora.



When Sora finally got home that evening, he nearly tripped over two pairs of shoes in the entryway. He brightened as he caught himself on the wall. Two pairs of shoes meant that Riku and Axel were both home. What with the week they'd all been having, it had been far too long since they'd had any time together. He only hoped they were still awake, noticing that the house was nearly silent. His own fatigue forgotten in favour of anticipation, Sora started wandering through rooms in search of his boyfriends. He finally tracked them down in the living room and what he found made him smile.

Axel and Riku were sitting together on the couch, although "sitting" probably wasn't the best word for it. Axel had been backed into a corner, one leg tucked underneath him, by Riku, who was sprawled along the length of the sofa. Completely relaxed for once, he was sleeping, draped comfortably across the cushions - and Axel. The redhead had a bemused expression on his face, staring down at his lapful of snoozing Riku. He seemed unsure about what he should be doing but he'd gingerly settled a hand on Riku's head and was lightly stroking silver hair.

Sora sympathized with Axel's confusion. Riku was so aloof most of the time that his occasional displays of affection were always surprising. "It's a bit like being adopted by a cat," Kairi had once explained to Sora. "He can be standoffish and contrary and arrogant and aggravating as anything but at the same time, you can't help but feel special that someone so independent has decided that he likes you." Sora, watching Riku dubiously eye the two of them as they giggled together before giving up on them with an audible sigh, couldn't help but agree. Sora had always been delighted whenever Riku had relaxed enough to drop his guard but Axel wasn't Sora, to enjoy unexpected bursts of sentimentality.

"Hey there, Cutie." Axel's voice drew Sora out of his contemplation and he half-scowled at the nickname. He'd grown tired of protesting that he wasn't cute, though, it only made Axel smirk wider. He got the watered down version of the smirk tonight, something unusually soft in Axel's eyes as he watched Sora hover in the doorway. "Long day?"

Sora groaned and nodded. "I don't know what's up with the defense system but we were running around after Heartless all day," he complained, rolling his shoulders to ease the ache of tired muscles. "Well, except for Riku," he added as he walked into the room. "Leon asked him if he'd take a look at the computers, try to fix the programs. I didn't think he'd been at it since this morning, though."

"That explains why Beautiful here was nearly cross-eyed when he got in tonight," Axel commented. Sora winced. He had no idea how Riku could stand staring at the computer screens for hours at a time but he did have a knack with them.

"Was not," Riku protested drowsily, without moving from the spot he'd claimed. Glancing down, Sora could only see a sliver of aqua from barely-open eyes and had to laugh at Riku's reflexive stubbornness. He bent down, brushing silver strands off of Riku's cheek before dropping a light kiss on his lips. Riku's soft sigh was content and his eyes slipped closed again as Sora pulled away. Straightening with a smile, he leaned over to kiss Axel hello.

"I hear you've been keeping busy, too" Sora said, not surprised when Axel kept his own counsel about what he'd been doing. Secretive smiles aside, Sora actually had a pretty good idea of what Axel had been up to earlier today. Cloud and Cid had been leading a hunting party and had reported that a pack of Heartless had been more or less disintegrated around them. Cloud had laconically described it as "some kind of fire spell" but Cid's more colourful, "It was a fuckin' firestorm," was probably closer to the truth. Sora didn't know why Axel had wandered out and apparently taken it upon himself to exterminate some of the local Heartless but he supposed it was a good thing that Axel was keeping himself entertained.

Sora sighed, feeling the events of the day catching up with him again. He considered the couch for a minute, wondering if it was worth shoving Riku around long enough to earn himself a space. Finally deciding that Riku looked too tired to disturb, Sora let himself slide down to the floor in front of the couch. Fortunately, Axel still had one foot planted on the floor and his leg made a wonderful backrest. He heard Axel make an amused sound as he arranged himself comfortably and looked up to find green eyes fixed on him, with the same bemused expression as before.

"You two make no sense, you know that, right?" Axel asked conversationally. There was something a bit lost in his voice and Sora's heart went out to him. Fortunately, he had lots of experience dealing with friends and boyfriends that didn't know how to be loved.

"S'all good," Riku commented muzzily before Sora could speak, startling both of them. "We're good," he added, semi-coherently. His eyes were half-open now and he reached out a lazy arm, catching Sora's hand in his and lacing their fingers together, giving Sora a sleepy smile. "Now shut up n' stop moving. But don't stop that," he ordered when shock stilled the hand that had been absently petting his hair. Axel snorted but decided to be cooperative, resuming his stroking. Riku hummed happily and his eyes closed again.

"What he means is we love you too, Axel," Sora laughed, tilting his head back to beam a smile at Axel. He noticed that Axel was starting to look a bit panicky but Sora wasn't worried. The redhead wasn't going anywhere - not with Riku weighing him down and Sora practically sitting on his foot. The two of them always had made an unbeatable team. Axel didn't stand a chance, Sora thought as he relaxed against him, resting his head against Axel's knee. In fact, he thought as he yawned, if that really was Axel's hand he felt settling tentatively on his head, it might be an even easier job than he thought.



I really did think that would be the end of it. I did. Only I made the mistake of thinking about the dynamics of an established relationship between these three. Next thing I knew, I was struck by, well, this:



It had seemed natural for Sora and Riku to stay together in Radiant Garden. Riku wouldn't have accepted anyone else and Sora wasn't anxious to let Riku out of his sight again so no one thought twice about it. When Axel had come along, the Keybearers had taken him in and everyone was too busy being relieved to ask any questions. When they were in residence, they helped defend Radiant Garden and kept Axel out of trouble. When they weren't in residence, they were someone else's concern. It seemed like an all-around satisfactory situation.

None of the three bothered to tell anyone when convenience turned into comfort. It never occurred to Sora to tell people and Riku wasn't the sort to announce the details of his private life. Axel was the type to announce anything to whomever he pleased but relations between him and most of the locals were strained at best. (Riku had told Sora that he wouldn't be surprised if Axel was saving the revelation for just the right time to throw it into someone's face.) So while none of them had set out to keep their relationship clandestine, they'd ended up with a secret nonetheless. After a while, it became something of an inside joke, especially for Axel, who was particularly fond of flashing private smiles and stealing sly touches. All the same, their secret was the last thing Sora had on his mind when he opened the door to Kairi that morning.

"Sorry, Kairi," he said apologetically. He'd hoped to be ready in time for their agreed-upon meeting but getting out of bed this morning had been more difficult than he expected. "I woke up a bit late this morning. I'm almost ready to go, though! Just have to finish breakfast. You wanna come in for a minute?"

"Sure, no problem," she agreed with a smile, closing the door behind her as she followed him into the house. "Should have known you'd be late," she teased gently as she perched on one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "No Riku to help keep you in line this early in the day." That was true enough, Sora reflected. Riku hadn't been much of a morning person even before he spent two years running around in darkness.

"I can keep myself in line!" he protested as he picked up a jam-slathered piece of toast. She just smiled, watching without comment as he made short work of the food in front of him though she did steal a piece to nibble on.

Sora was just swallowing the last of his breakfast when he heard a noise in the hallway behind him. He saw Kairi look over his shoulder and winced. He was preparing an apology to offer whichever of his boyfriends they'd woken when warm arms draped themselves over his shoulders and a sharp chin rested itself on the top of his head. Kairi's eyes went wide.

"Morning, Cutie," Axel drawled through a yawn. Apparently, he'd had enough of discretion. "Morning, Kairi."

"Good morning, Axel," she responded politely, eyes flicking between the two of them before settling demandingly on Sora's face.

"Morning, Axel," Sora managed, blushing furiously under Kairi's incredulous stare.

"It's too damn early," Axel sighed into Sora's hair, before peeling himself off of Sora and slouching over to the coffeemaker. Sora twisted in his chair, following Axel across the kitchen with his eyes. He was relieved to see that Axel was reasonably decent, loose t-shirt and boxers hanging on his lean frame. He watched the redhead fiddle with the coffee machine for a moment before a stifled noise from behind him reminded him of Kairi. He slowly turned back to her, uncertainly lifting his eyes to meet hers.

Mirth danced clearly in her eyes and her shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. Sora relaxed as the giggles started to slip out. Kairi's laughter was bright and unfettered and Sora was relieved to hear it.

"Go on laugh, it up," he heard Axel mutter. "Way too early for this."

Sora thought Axel had brought it entirely on himself, what with his deciding to waltz into the kitchen and wrap himself all around Sora like that, so he wasn't inclined to be terribly sympathetic. Besides, knowing that Kairi knew - and clearly had no problems with it - was a profound relief.

Kairi finally got her giggles under control and her eyes went solemn. Sora worried for a moment when he saw her go serious. "But Sora," she asked, concern lacing her voice, "what about Riku?"

"He's okay. Uh, I mean, you don't have to worry about him," Sora reassured her, only to face a skeptical raised eyebrow. He understood why she was concerned. Despite how he'd changed, they both knew that Riku would be terribly hurt if he felt abandoned by his friends. In this case, however, Kairi had no reason to worry - there was no chance of Riku being left out or left behind. Now, if he could just find a way to convince her of that... To the accompaniment of Axel's snickers, Sora started to stammer out an explanation. "Uh, he - that is we, um, well - Riku is-"

"Riku hates all of you right now," a grumpy voice announced from the kitchen doorway. Sora turned his head to find a half-dressed Riku leaning against the doorjamb, heavy-eyed and still sleep-rumpled.

"Sorry, Riku," Sora apologized. "We didn't mean to wake you up." Aqua eyes glared blearily at him and Riku's heavy sigh spoke volumes of irritation. For a moment, Sora wanted nothing more than to drag Riku back to bed, wrap him up in warm arms and slow kisses until he forgave them both, relaxed into their touches the way he so rarely did. Then he remembered Kairi and shook it off. From the indulgent smile on her face as he turned back to her, though, he suspected his heart was written all over his face again.

Guess this means Kairi knows that she doesn't have to worry about Riku being left out, Sora thought, returning her warm smile with a beaming grin of his own.

In the meantime, Axel had finished with the coffee and filled two cups, which he carried over to Riku. Ignoring his scowl, Axel held a cup teasingly in front of Riku's face.

"You, I might forgive," Riku allowed, eyes fixed on the cup as he carefully reached out and folded his fingers around it. Axel smirked and snaked an arm around Riku's waist, pulling him into himself and propping Riku casually against his hip.

"Don't mind Beautiful, I'll just put him back to bed before he hurts himself. Or anyone else," he added in response to a soft growl from the teen beside him. "You two have fun." Saluting Sora and Kairi casually with his cup, Axel turned himself and Riku around and started them shuffling towards their bedroom. Riku permitted himself to be herded, clutching at his cup like a lifeline and grumbling faintly as they disappeared down the hall.

The noise of a chair scraping over the floor drew his attention back to Kairi. She was smiling as she rose and Sora hurried to join her. He followed her to the door before she turned in place and planted a hand in the centre of his chest, shaking her head fondly. Sora resisted the urge to shuffle his feet under her considering look.

"All three of you?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, all three of us," he confirmed. "I know it's kind of weird but it works."

"It seems to," she told him, her eyes warm and approving.

And it does, Sora thought, knowing Kairi would see how happy he was.

She surprised him by leaning up and kissing his cheek. "Go back to your boys," she told him. "Meet me for lunch - the usual place - at about 12:30. Bring Riku and Axel," she ordered and slipped back out through the door before Sora could reply. Sora blinked at the closed door, wondering what had happened to his morning. After a few seconds, he gave it up with a shrug and started walking back towards their room. He wasn't tired anymore but that wasn't going to stop him from climbing back into bed and curling up with his boyfriends. Sora knew a good idea when he heard it.



All in all, I don't really care if this particular threesome is pure crack. It's fun crack. Not my pairing of choice, of course, but still fun to play with. And, um, I may not be done with them. That should serve as fair warning, too. ^_^

Date: 2010-04-28 01:04 pm (UTC)
ext_144324: (Default)
From: [identity profile] seryan.livejournal.com
So, I know next to nothing about KH besides what you've told me, but...*puppy eyes* More please?

Date: 2010-04-28 06:29 pm (UTC)
ext_144324: (Default)
From: [identity profile] seryan.livejournal.com
This honestly surprises you? After lawn gnomes? And all the times I've made a comment about "oh, for god's sake, just share" in the direction of love triangles?

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