evening_bat: Bat in flight, silhouetted against the moon. (Default)
[personal profile] evening_bat
Title: For A Good Time Call...
Author: [personal profile] evening_bat
Fandom: Thor
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None, assuming basic familiarity with canon
Warnings: Uh, kind of AU?
Word Count: ~1600
Summary: Like hell Tony is braving this party alone.

Notes: I wrote this...maybe a month or two after seeing the movie? After reading one too many prompts about Tony & Loki flirting and/or dating. And then apparently forgot that I wrote it. Oops. Story doesn't fit any of the prompts but I had fun with it anyhow! :D (Spiderman here is Marvel Adventures Avengers Spiderman. He snuck in somehow but he's cute so I let him stay.)

For A Good Time Call...

The sound of Pepper’s heels clicking their way across the floors of Tony’s house was so familiar that it barely penetrated the Avengers’ exhausted haze. A few of them offered tired waves when she appeared in the entryway. She nodded in return, eyes automatically going to her boss, sprawled across the sofa in a grease-covered undershirt and soot-stained jeans.

“Going for the grunge look?” she asked Tony, with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, you know how it-” he broke off with a look of dawning horror. “Oh crap. Tell me that’s not tonight.”

“Okay, it’s not tonight,” Pepper replied. “And it’s definitely not in an hour and a half and you’re absolutely not expected.”

Tony lurched to his feet with a curse. “Give me twenty!” he told Pepper as he disappeared towards his room, already shouting orders at Jarvis.

“Charity thing,” she explained succinctly to Steve’s concerned expression.

“Ah,” he acknowledged, allowing fatigue to disrupt his usually perfect posture as he slumped into his seat. “Poor Tony. Bad timing for a call out.”

“There’s never a good time, with Tony,” Pepper remarked wryly.

“Poor boy billionaire,” Clint crooned with false sympathy, drawing a tired chuckle from the room.

But true to his word, Tony was back in just under twenty minutes, scrubbed clean and doing up the cuffs of his shirt.

“Okay, okay. I’m good to go - no wait, I’ve changed my mind, I’m not going,” he declared abruptly, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of the television.

“What, Tony you can’t-” Pepper started, shooting a frosty glare at Spiderman, who’d turned on the tv to check out the red carpet fuss. He dropped the remote control and jumped on the back of the couch, half-hiding behind Clint.

“Give them another couple of million or something,” Tony said flatly, pointing at the woman on the screen. “I am not going to this thing if she’s going to be prowling the crowd.”

“She’s not that bad,” Pepper said with a roll of her eyes but there was a faintly guilty quirk to her suppressed smile.

“You aren’t the one that spent a month and a half denying marriage rumours and practically needing bodyguards in public to peel her off your ass!”

“You have to go,” she pointed out sweetly. “They’re doing the tech presentations and you know what’ll happen if you’re not there to keep an eye on that...”

Tony glared at her. “Low, Potts. Very low.”

“Take one of your teammates, if you need backup,” Pepper suggested, waving a hand at the assembled superheroes.

Tony considered that for a moment. “Captain America in a tux would certainly keep the attention off me for once,” he mused, oblivious to Steve’s faintly horrified expression. “But that wouldn’t do much to dissuade my stalker,” he concluded grumpily.

Pepper clicked her tongue in mock-commiseration. “At least you have a 45-minute drive to think of a way to deal with her?”

“I don’t suppose a car accident is a valid plan - just a small one!” Tony protested at the glare his suggestion drew. “Oh fine. Though Pepper, you know you could just-”

“Oh, no,” she swiftly replied. “No way, no how and not in a million years.”

“It is so hard to find good help these days,” Tony sulked, crossing his arms over his chest. “How am I going to - Oh. Oh. Yes, I’m a genius,” he said happily, fumbling in his pockets with a worryingly gleeful grin.

The entire team was following the drama by now, watching as Tony dragged out his cell and punched in a number, waiting impatiently for an answer.

“Hey there,” he greeted the person on the other end of the connection. “You particularly busy with any villainous plans tonight?” He ignored his teammates’ incredulous stares with long practice. “There’s this thing tonight and I could use some company. I mean, some company that’s not going to try to take me to bed and bite my head off in the morning newspapers. No, no, it’s the newspaper thing that’s the problem, the bed part is okay - are you offering?”

“Unbelievable,” muttered Clint. “Is this a pity date or a booty call?”

“No, your brother won’t be there,” Tony was saying. “He’s here but that’s okay, he’s in a good mood.”

The Avengers exchanged startled looks.

“Really!” Tony insisted. “We just walked away from a big brawl of a fight. There was lots of thumping of heads. There was singing!”

Everyone slowly turned to look at Thor, who’d closed his eyes and was looking pained. The room had fallen so silent that everyone could hear the appallingly familiar laughter spilling from Tony’s phone.

“Loki has a cell phone?” Spiderman asked, sounded bemused. “How does Loki have a cell phone?”

“Better question, why does Tony have Loki’s cell phone number?” Steve put in.

Better question, did Tony just ask Loki to the charity prom?” Clint demanded, snorts of laughter breaking up the question.

Excuse me,” Tony interrupted. “I am trying to have a phone conversation here.”

He rolled his eyes when the patent absurdity of the situation finally got the better of everyone and half the team collapsed into gales of laughter.

“Come on,” he coaxed, “you know you’ll have fun. There’ll be a room full of arrogant businessmen to run mind games on. I can even suggest a few, if you’re looking for particularly worthy targ - what? Of course I’m driving. Okay, yes. We’ll take that one. I can always afford to pay off the fines if the cops look under the hood. So you’ll - great! See you in a few.”

It was only after Tony ended the call that he caught the decidedly unimpressed expression on Thor’s face.

“Oh, uh. Hi. Thor. Remember how thrashing evil doers always makes you happy!” Tony said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

“Oh, I am,” Thor assured him grimly, one hand clenching into a tight fist.

“Now remember how your teammates aren’t the bad guys!” Tony yelped as he backpedaled hastily.

“I am beginning to question that idea,” Thor informed him darkly as he advanced.

“Now, now, Thor,” a voice chided from the doorway. “Don’t kill him. You’ll waste all my hard work getting ready for the evening.”

Thor snorted, Tony forgotten as he rounded on Loki. “The work of a moment’s magic, maybe.”

“Hey, it takes effort to look this good,” Loki protested, spreading his - her - hands wide.

Thor (along with the rest of the Avengers) examined Loki, currently a stunning dark-eyed brunette, whose deep green gown clung to all the right places on her curvaceous figure.

“Well chosen,” Thor admitted grudgingly. “You haven’t lost your touch.”

Loki blew him a kiss.

“Nice,” Tony commented appreciatively, edging carefully past Thor. “Very nice,” he added, when Loki pivoted in a neat circle and winked flirtatiously over one shoulder.

“Dress!” he rushed to elaborate, quickly dragging his eyes back to Loki’s face when a broad step brought Thor back into looming distance. “Very nice dress, you have great taste. Wow, look at the time, we really have to be going!”

“You weren’t actually planning on obeying any of the speed limits, were you?” Loki pouted, looking honestly disappointed.

“Hell no, of course not, but if we leave now, it not only gets me out of immediate pulverizing range but we get to take the long way to the party,” Tony explained.

“Tony, are you sure this is, well, appropriate?” Steve interrupted their exchange of manic grins to ask, visibly biting back an apology at the very convincing hurt expression Loki turned on him.

“Save your breath,” Thor advised him. “You’ll make no impression on either of them. And all things considered, they could be in much worse company.”

“Very true!” Loki agreed, sharp smile reminding them all of the company he typically kept.

“This way,” Thor continued, with a quelling glance at a thoroughly unrepentant Loki, “we can hope that they’ll mitigate the trouble the other usually attracts. Or causes.”

“Trouble?” Tony protested. “What trouble? I don’t get myself into - okay, yeah. Forget I even said that,” he finished when the entire room turned to stare at him. “Can we just go now?”

“Try to keep each other - and the economy - reasonably intact, if you can?” Thor requested resignedly.

Tony and Loki glanced at each other, then back at Thor with matching earnest expressions. “We promise!” they chorused brightly.

“Oh, be off with you,” Thor grumbled at them. It was only well after the two had vanished down the hallway in a clatter of heels and whispered plotting that his scowl lightened into an oddly fond smile. “Incorrigible, the pair of them.”

“One of these days, we are going to have to have a talk about how you indulge your brother,” Steve commented with a shake of his head.

“I never did have it in me to thrash him properly,” Thor agreed ruefully.

“Hope you didn’t have any plans in New York tonight,” Clint muttered in an aside to Spiderman, who sighed dismally.

“And on that note, I have pressing business. Elsewhere,” Thor announced. “If those two incite a riot...call someone else.”

The rest of the team, recognizing sense when they heard it, was quick to scatter in his wake.

Pepper sighed at the empty room. “I should be worried about this, shouldn’t I?” she asked.

“Whatever for?” Jarvis replied. “A safe viewing distance is what this ridiculously huge television with multiple HD entertainment channels is for, after all.”


Just imagine all the fun they'll have! :D


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