evening_bat: Bat in flight, silhouetted against the moon. (Default)
[personal profile] evening_bat
Title: Pretty Boys and Pansies
Author: [personal profile] evening_bat
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Warnings: none
Word Count: ~1000
Summary: Some of Hannibal's team aren't quite the men they seem to be.


Pretty Boys and Pansies


Paperwork, paperwork, oh how Hannibal hated paperwork. There was no escaping the stuff, however, what with the military's avid fondness for it. He outright avoided as much as he could, pawned a good portion of the rest off on Face but that still left him with reports to write. You'd think being the commander of a covert action unit would make less paperwork but you'd be wrong, Hannibal grumbled to himself as he signed off on yet another summary of damages. It didn't seem fair somehow. At least this month's stack was nearly finished.

Deep in a paperwork fugue, it took Hannibal a few moments to notice the figure lingering in his office doorway. When the shadow in the corner of his eye registered, Hannibal looked up from his latest set of requisitions. He did a double take at the sight of Face clinging to the door frame, blood oozing from a split lip.

"Face? What happened?" he demanded, rising to his feet in alarm.

"Oh, Colonel!" Face burst out. "I'm sorry!"

Hannibal stopped short at Face's distraught tone.

"For what, Lieutenant?" he asked cautiously, edging out from behind his desk.

Face pushed himself away from the support of the door and staggered a few steps into the office.

"I - there were so many - I couldn't-" he rambled brokenly, swaying where he stood.

Hannibal lifted an eyebrow as Face raised a trembling hand to press against his temple.

"Just - not good enough," he sighed as his knees buckled and he crumpled dramatically to the floor at Hannibal's feet.

Hannibal regarded the prone man for a few seconds, then applauded politely.

The corners of Face's mouth twitched but he didn't move.

The sound of running feet in the corridor saved Hannibal from asking what was next. He wasn't entirely surprised when Murdock burst into the room - he'd been wondering where the other half of the team's terrible twosome was. It sure hadn't taken those two long to bond, he thought, rocky beginnings notwithstanding. Murdock paid Hannibal no attention, eyes going wide at the sight of Face sprawled on the floor.

"No!" he cried in dismay, flinging himself down on his knees beside Face. He patted frantically at Face's cheeks with one hand, clutching one of Face's hands to his chest with the other. "Facey, no! You can't leave me like this!" he wailed.

Hannibal smothered a grin at the display and cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen? Just what is going on here?" he inquired, aiming for a stern tone.

It was like flipping a switch. Murdock looked up at him, instantly shedding his distress and meeting Hannibal's eyes with a steady, solemn stare.

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you, Colonel," he announced gravely.

"What is it, Captain?" Hannibal asked in a like tone.

"It's about Face here," Murdock said, laying a hand on Face's chest. "I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but he's just too pretty to be a real soldier."

Hannibal shook his head and sighed. "That is bad news," he agreed.

Murdock's hand was visibly shaking with the force of Face's barely-suppressed laughter.

"But that's not all of it," Murdock said reluctantly.

"Give me the rest of it then," Hannibal ordered.

"It's about me, sir," Murdock told him, hanging his head. "I'm just a crazy, pansy-ass pilot who'd be helpless without his boyfriend to protect him."

There was a moment of silence as Hannibal digested the news.

"So Face is too pretty to be a solider but he's tough enough to be your protector?" Hannibal finally asked.

"See, that's what I asked!" Murdock explained earnestly. "I don't think they liked the question though because that's when they took a swing at me," he reported.

A snort of laughter escaped Hannibal's control. "Just tell me that the Officers' Club is still standing?" he requested.

"Absolutely, sir," Murdock assured him. "Not all the officers are, though," he added in an undertone.

"Hey," Face complained, opening his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be tending to your wounded boyfriend here?"

Murdock grinned down at him. "I think that's the sort of thing that got us into trouble in the first place," he replied.

Hannibal would have sworn that Face actually pouted at the response.

Murdock must have thought so too because he leaned down and pressed a loud, smacking kiss to Face's cheek. Ignoring Face's exclamation of disgust, he bounced to his feet and held down a hand to Face.

"Come on. I'll make it up to you later," he promised as Face grabbed his hand and climbed grumpily to his feet.

Hannibal decided not to think too deeply about that promise.

"Will you two get out of here?" He flapped a hand at them. "Some of us have got work to do."

"Yessir, Colonel, sir!" they chorused, exchanging broad grins as Hannibal rolled his eyes at their antics.

"And try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the night!" he called at their retreating backs.

He was slightly surprised when Face stuck his head back through the office door a second later, a more serious expression settling on his face.

"What they were saying was too much to let go, Hannibal," he told him, voice low. "And they took the first swing."

Face's eyes darkened momentarily as he said that and Hannibal hoped he'd clocked the guy that had tried to hit Murdock.

"There are people who'll back us up on that," he added.

Hannibal nodded acknowledgement. "Appreciate that, Face," he said. It would make cleaning up any fallout from the brawl a lot easier.

"I'll take it as a given that you handed them their asses?" he asked casually.

"Of course," Face smirked.

Good for them, Hannibal thought. As if he'd have picked two useless men for his team.

"Come on, Face!" Murdock shouted from somewhere down the hall.

"Gotta go!" Face said, flashing Hannibal one of his bright grins before vanishing after Murdock.

Hannibal listened to the fading sound of their voices. He had to hand it to his boys - they were better than paperwork any day.

FIN


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