evening_bat: Bat in flight, silhouetted against the moon. (Default)
[personal profile] evening_bat
Just because I have to go to work and pretend to be a reasonable adult and productive member of society doesn't mean I have to leave fandom at home. And while I'm useless about actually getting any writing done (anywhere, ever), apparently I can churn out random bits of conversation at the drop of a random comment.

Not that I ever waste time at the office with anything other than work-related tasks, of course! *shifty eyes*


Fandom: Transformers (G1)
Rating: Pretty harmless (though knowing me, there will be slashy hints here and there)
Characters: Lots! (But at the moment my heart belongs to the Aerialbots.)


Here, have some random bits of conversation. Comment/idea that spawned the snippets included in order to provide some context. (I don't promise that it will help.)


* * * * *


Prompt: Bitching about fannish stereotypes. And being seized by a sudden desire to write the Autobots playing up said stereotypes. Possibly to confuse the Decepticons.


Sunstreaker:  " I am NOT doing that.  They can take their plan and stick it up Prime's-"
Jazz:  *passing by*  "You do it or I tell Red just where that stash of spiked energon came from."
Sideswipe:  "Hey - blackmail isn't in your new character either."
Jazz:  "AND who keeps pinging all the police radars in the county."
Twins:  *sulkily*  "Yessir."
Jazz:  "Good!"  *claps them on the shoulders and walks off*  "Hey, Bumblebee!"
Bee:  *distantly*  "Yeah?"
Jazz:  "Smile wider!  And stop making like you can think!"


* * * * *


Prompt: A conversation about Cliffjumper & Bumblebee's opposing temperaments, especially amusing given their so-similar appearances.  Which prompted me to say: "The OTHER red and yellow twins!  Only this time, the yellow one is the NICE one."


Sides:  "I'm trading you in.  For the NICE yellow twin."  *hugs BB from behind*
BB:  "??"
Sunny:  *growls*
Cliff:  *grows*
Sunny & Cliff:  *growl at each other*
Sides:  *laughing himself into a glitch*
BB:  "??"


* * * * *


Prompt: A visit to TV Tropes - "Dysfunction Junction: Many of the Transformers, Autobot and Decepticon alike, are barely-functional piles of neuroses."


"Uh...  Is he okay?"
Cliffjumper:  *ranting and frothing*
"Yeah, he's fine.  He's just a bit...cranky."
"About...?"
"Well, everything, really."
"...And the blue guy?"
"Oh, that's Beachcomber.  He's just a bit hi - um, relaxed.  He does some meditation thing.  Just remember what I told you about not pissing off the tall yellow guy and you'll be fine."
"The TALL yellow guy?"
"Yeah, the little one's a total sweetheart.  Just don't get them mixed up."
"And you're the GOOD guys?"
"Hell yes.  You wouldn't want to see the bad guys."


* * * * *


Prompt: "Though I would still LOVE to know why even Decepticons with non-flying alt modes could, you know, fly.  When it's heavily hinted that Aerialbots in robot mode CAN'T fly. ... You do realize that I now want to have a mode-locked Aerialbot fall from a height and save himself while everyone boggles?  Or dive to save a human and be unable to transform while holding the fleshy and still fly neatly to safety?  Just so people can go BU-BUT HOW? and I can laugh."


"Silverbolt - we have bad news.  I'm sorry but Fireflight - he, he fell."
"...What?  He what?"
"He fell.  From the top of the volcano and he couldn't transform so he fell."
"Ah..."  Air Raid, is Fireflight okay?
"Ask him yourself."
"Hi guys!  What's going on?"
*Autobots gape*
*Silverbolt facepalms*


* * * * *


Prompt: "See, this is why I have fallen head over heels for this particular set of combiner robots, I think.  Because I'm pretty sure there's unrepentant cuddling going on there too.  JET PILE."


"What are they do-"
"DON'T ASK."
*tilts head*  "That looks uncomfortable."
"They're jets.  And they're a combiner team.  Need I say more?"
"I didn't think wings could bend that way."
*from pile*  "Wings are more flexible than you'd think.  Now go away please.  You'll wake them."


* * * * *


Prompt:: A conversation about Fireflight's lack of attention span (and the possibility that being designed & programmed for reconnaissance are not helping with his ability to focus) and how that would manifest while he was on duty.


What's that?  Oooo!  I've never seen anything like THAT before - it's amazing!  If I zoom in a little I can even see -
"Fireflight!  Cliff!"
"Ack!  Oops!"  *dodges*  "Thanks Silverbolt!"
"Just pay a bit more attention next time."
"I will!"  Wait, what's that?


Bonus: Solo patrol version.


Silverbolt to Fireflight.
"Hi Silverbolt!  What's up?"
Where are you?
"Out on patrol, like you told me."
Yes.  But WHERE are you?
"I - oh.  I'm about 200 klicks off the patrol route."
Mm-hm. 
"Sorry - there was this mountain range and-"
That's all right.  It's time to come home now.  You can show me the pictures when you get here.
"Right!  On my way!"


* * * * *


Prompt: Bitching about Outlook, as it crashed on me for the nth time. So I start snickering about how it would be so awesome to see Wheeljack and Ratchet versus Microsoft Office. To which my friend replies, "Do you think Wheeljack can make even software explode?" (Yes. Yes, I do.)


"What the HELL? I mean, sure, my computer used to crash at the drop of a hat but now it's a SMOKING CRATER. What did you DO?"
"Increased the efficiency by a factor of ten!"
"Increased the glitches' efficiency maybe!"


* * * * *


Prompt: So someone mentioned the Giant Purple Griffin... (Really, what the hell was Megatron thinking?) Italics are my conversation partner's comments.


"Decepticons!  We must build a mobile armed fortress!"
*cheer*
"And it must be purple!"
"..."
"With wings!  And tentac - a mane!"
*edging backwards*

*muttered aside* "I knew stealing energy from Japan was a bad idea."

"So long as he doesn't put us in any form of school uniform, we can deal with it.  I will take purple tentacles over pleated skirts any day."
"SHHHH - don't give him IDEAS!"

AUGH MENTAL IMAGES!!

"Where did he even FIND a skirt big enough to fit Starscream?"
"AHAHAHAHA!  WHO CARES?  NICE LEGS, AIR COMMANDER!"
*wolf whistles*
"You will ALL PAY FOR THIS!"


* * * * *


Prompt: I rewatched War Dawn last night. And I can't help but feel bad for the Aerialbots, their first weeks after coming online. I mean, tossed into combat within hours (at most!) of being born and finding yourself in the middle of a war you don't understand, fighting for a side to which you're not really sure you belong? Poor guys. This came out while I was trying to articulate this to my friend.


SS: "I just don't see why you're so keen on all these guys, anyhow.  What have they ever done for us?"
SB: "They CREATED us."
SS: "Yeah, to go fight a war for them.  Not that we know what the war's ABOUT or anything."
SD: "To be fair, the Decepticons DO seem to be the overtly hostile side..."
SS: *snorts*  "And we don't shoot at people when they start shooting at us?"
AR: "Slingshot's right.  I mean, I don't have a problem with most of the guys here but we don't know much about what's going on beyond what they tell us."
SD: "And they're clearly not telling us everything."
SS: "'Cause we fly and they don't and that makes them suspicious.  Forget that's why they MADE us."
SB: "Guys..."
FF: "Come on, guys!  It's not that bad.  I mean, they've been mostly good to us!"
*turn to look at him*
AR: "Mostly?"
FF: "I - never mind, it's nothing."
SD: "Tell me this is not why you were in the medbay earlier this week."
SS & AR: "WHAT?"
FF: "No!  No, of course it wasn't!  That was me being stupid and flying into a tree again."
SB: *gently* "'Being stupid'?"
FF: *looks away and shrugs* "I needed some help getting down and a couple of the other Autobots came by before I got myself sorted out enough to call you..."
*charged silence*
AR: *throws arm around FF's shoulder* "Right.  Well, let's me and your not-stupid self go out and really show them how to fly!"
FF: *brightens* "Okay!"
AR: "Anyone coming?"
SB: *sighs as the others pile out the door*


* * * * *


Prompt: One too many repetitions of a certain song containing the phrase "take that plane and fingerpaint the sky" reminded me that I rather dislike the Ark's very orange colour scheme. And that (most of) the Aerialbots probably aren't keen on it either.


Prowl:  "Silverbolt, a word?"
Silverbolt: "Certainly.  What can I do for you?"
Prowl: "It's about the requisition you submitted yesterday."
Silverbolt: "Ah.  Yes, it's really necessary."
Prowl: *looks a question at him*
Silverbolt: "My team is getting antsy at being - and I quote - "stuck in an orange cave."  They're enough trouble when they're NOT half out of their heads with claustrophobia."
Prowl:  *considers*  "[Ridiculous number] of gallons of blue paint it is, then.  We'll even throw in some white so they can add clouds, shall we?"


* * * * *


Prompt: We got to talking about Five Faces of Darkness and the rather rampant animation & continuity errors. In particular, the problem of the vanishing Aerialbots and the question of how in hell we're supposed to believe that the Aerialbots weren't able to, you know, fly after getting blown into space. (Maybe they were bored and a space adventure sounded like fun?)


AR: "Bored, bored, bored, BORED..."
FF: "Oooo, lookit the nebula over there!" *drifts off*
AR: *yanks him back* "Not helping, 'Flight."
SS: *loudly* "What's that you say? Tumbling helplessly through space, not knowing where we'll land?"
FF: "No problem! We can just-"
AR: *slaps hand over mouth* "We can just wait until we land somewhere, I guess!"
FF: *gives him funny look*
AR: *whispers* "New planet, new sights to see."
FF: *considers* *nods happily*
SS: *overly casual* "Guess we have NO CHOICE!"
SB: *facepalm*


* * * * *


Prompt: I don't even know. I think it started when I made a joke about writing Defensor/Superion FOR THE LULZ. "But I do reserve the right to mutter, 'Get your hands off Defensor's boyfriend!' the next time I see Menasor and Superion grappling and I don't CARE who's in the room. ... MY NEW CRACK OTP~! <333"


Rodimus: Uh, Silverbolt?
Silverbolt: Mm-hm? *distracted by paperwork*
Rodimus: I need to talk to you about your team.
Silverbolt: Mm-hm?
Rodimus: I'm not sure it's - ah - appropriate for our two combiner teams to be so - um - close.
Silverbolt: Oh, don't worry. We're not interfacing with the Protectobots. Superion is.
Rodimus: WHAT?
Silverbolt: *looks up* What? *visibly replays conversation* Oh. Um...
Rodimus: WHAT??

followed by:

Rodimus: Wait, wait, wait. Superion is doing WHAT with WHO?
Silverbolt: Well, technically he's interfacing with Defensor.
Rodiums: *stares*
Silverbolt: They're Autobots too.
Rodiums: *stares* *faint noise of disbelief*
Silverbolt: *pats him sympathetically on the shoulder* We'll try to get them to be a bit more, ah, discreet. But they're kind of hard to hide...
Rodimus: Do that. Please.
Hot Spot: *from doorway* Does that mean I can't jump you in the hallways either?
Rodimus: *stares*
Silverbolt: Um, he's joking?


* * * * *


Prompt: A foggy morning and the thought that the Aerialbots probably like flying in cloud cover because, "it a) hides how high they are off the ground, b) is a huge tactical advantage, c) is great sniping cover, d) is FANTASTIC for sneaking up on other fliers and e) looks REALLY REALLY cool. Depending on which Aerial you are." Italics are my conversation partner's comments.


Fireflight: "You can totally play games about what clouds look like from the inside, too! Only it's a lot more challenging. And if you're not careful, your brothers jump you and then you're not IN the cloud anymore. But that's still fun!"

That's probably the game. See how many times you can knock your brothers out of the cloud without getting knocked out yourself.

SB: *yelps* "Will you STOP THAT?"
AR & SS: "What?"
SD: *dryly* "They claim they're practicing ambush maneuvers."
SB: "I'm sure they are. Practice on someone ELSE."


* * * * *


More will be added as I blither.

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